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Title: The Ganker Guide - funny
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Lungsh0t
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Rank:Regular
Score: 190
Posts: 42
From: USA
Registered: 05/26/2008

(Date Posted:06/12/2008 09:20 AM)

The 'Ganker' Guide
A guide about being attacked by a ganker and not knowing what to do before you realize the ganker is a level 80 Barbarian and he has a personal Vendetta against you because you cracked off an uncalled for mom joke in the newly created New Player Help chat which is not even used for new player help because people decide to crack off mom OR EVEN dad jokes in it because we like to show how large our e-peens are so we can get e-girls which mostly turn out to be e-boys and how to fight back.

THE BARBARIAN

Step 1: Now, see that Barbarian that just attacked you? You have many options on how to flee from the Barbarian. First, look around you without stopping and look for a nearby water source. Do you see any? If the answer is 'yes' then I would advise you to sprint into the water and sit back at a far enough distance to type /shout NOOB GANKER HELP ME! while still avoiding damage. If the answer was 'no' to the above question then you only have two options:

Option 1: Let the Barbarian kill you and then use /tell -insert Barbarians name- and send him threatening messages and how much more skill you have than him and would kill him when you're his level and put him on your KoS list.

Option 2: Zig-zag back and forth while avoiding damage and flee into a nearby shack and spam 'H' until your character turns slightly invisible. CONGRATULATIONS! You have entered hide mode successfully! Now, make sure you do not walk into the Barbarians line-of-sight because he will most likely be using Search to look for you because he is desperate for that one kill on account of his not being able to kill his own level.

Step 2: Get to level 80 and kill him.

THE NECROMANCER

Step 1: "Oh no! What just happened? Why am I taking damage?" This is what I see in chat when a NECRO GANKZOR happens to be killing people. Have no fear, though! Due to the gimpiness of the Necro chances are you can win this fight! Now, run up to him and smack him on the head with a two-handed weapon... if you don't have one you can easily just put away any other weapon and uppercut him or headbutt him and it's equally effective on the Necromancer. Now, the Necro will be EXTREMELY disoriented and wish to re-roll because you just smacked him across the face with your pimp-hands for 1,000 damage. This is not very uncommon. NOW, FAST! Run and hide in a shack or behind a nearby tree. Once again, as before with the Barbarian, SPAM H! This cannot be stressed enough and if you do not have 'H' binded to 'Hide' then I would advise uninstalling the game. Now, unlike the Barbarian, Search does not matter because the only thing the Necromancer achieves from Searching for you is making you visible which is not a problem as he is squishy and the hide is just for the extra surprise. Run up to the Necromancer and one-two shot him.

Step 2: Camp him and make him quit his class and re-roll into a Barbarian. Refer to the Barbarian guide if he decides to get to level 80 in under 2 seconds and come back for you.

THE RANGER

Step 1: WTFTRAPPAWNED but you break free with a mighty "ARGH" and the Ranger runs off to hide. He comes back while you are tanking 6 mighty mobs of elite ownage and he hits you. You turn around and lift your mighty sword and four-five shot him and lop off his head. The Ranger comes back with a Necromancer. When he realizes that was the most idiotic thing he has done he comes back with a Barbarian and they triple finish you (It's Super Effective!)

Step 2: Ranger spawn camps you for by hitting you as soon as you spawn so your regen is broken for 30 minutes until you log-off and cancel your subscription

Well, that was my totally rocking guide to Gankers! I'm going to leave you with this one last piece of advice... Circle Strafe!

--------------------------------------------------------------
-Lungsh0t

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